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Jan. 6th, 2005 @ 02:21 am (no subject)
i was just reading, commenting on aldo's blogs when i heard splashing water. to my

horror, my 30 gal aquarium broke. i think my flowerhorn was so bummed that he tried to do

something very adventurous.im sure he banged his head on the glass. he's such a masochist. im not quite happy with that. i quickly shut the pc down since

the the cpu was on the floor and water was moving towards it. i had to use walis tingting to

sweep the water out. i hate it. barang binaha bahay namin.mapapagastos pa ko for the

aquarium repair, magmamall pa naman kami ni aldo. and flowerhorns were supposed to be

harbingers of goodluck. well goodluck na lang sa kanya, and dami nyang sugat e. buti na lang i was still awake, i had no plans of getting up pa, maaga ako natulog eh. shards of

glass are still on the floor but tinatamad pa kong linisin. bukas na, i mean after i wake up. im having fish for

breakfast. fried.
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Dec. 25th, 2004 @ 02:11 am the Grinch
Current Mood: apathetic
Current Music: carcrashes, edge of the ocean and worn me down!
harharhar. it was our mini christmas party kanina (yesterday technically, i just used kanina since right now is stil part of my day today...oh you know what i mean) and aldo and i met at the "alumni plaza" so we can have our own exchange gift before seting out to mark's place. i just find it funny, aldo finds it irritating, that we gave the same gift to each other. of course he was much much more (for emphasis) prepared in the sense that his was more variable plus he had a back-up gift plus the precursur gifts he has given me days ago. oh i feel so special! hahaha. i guess we've been that close that we got each others vibes which is like having the same menstrual cycle for girl friends (thats a fact! ha! you didnt know that did you?)

there were initially just six of us at mark's place, kami lang yung pwede eh. oh, we saw olga nga pala earlier and medyo nagdilim ang paningin namin ni aldo, no not because olga caused an eclipse but because olga reasoned out to she that she wont be coming as they have a "family activity", make that a double "", at san pablo. and then we find her sa may tapat nang Maya bookstore? HA. the problem with olga is, she's like the "boy who cried wolf", you cant tell anymore if she's telling the truth or not for she has made the most unexcusable excuses. pati oras sabay!big coincidence huh? well she turned up din naman and all the others were very forgiving except for some.... (am not gonna tell!)

the food was great, and i was easily stuffed. di ko na nga natikman banana cake ni olga pati yung lumpiang sariwa ni rc but i took some home (yah i know im shameless hahaha but i wasn't the only one na may baon!!!). of course what is a christmas party without exchange gift? we may be grown ups but still kids at heart. i got olga's framed decor which was adorable and my gift, which was supposedly a planner for 2005 but since maces was closed i had to resorted to chocolates, went to mark. i just hope mark didnt feel bad after i learned that his gift ,which went to aldo, is a body wash of some sort from bench or penshoppe i forgot and i kinda estimated it to cost more than thrice than the price of those chocolates...sorry mark! sheenah told me to bring just a SMALL token for the exchange gift eh...

we, me and family, went to church at around 9:40 a bit early so we could get seats for the 10 pm mass. oh how late we were. st therese was packed and a lot of people were already standing. meron palang parang christmas presentation before the mass and naturally they came earlier. for years now ive been complaining how ive turned into stone hearted person, not feeling the spirit of christmas new year and even graduation. tonight, i didnt feel the solemnity of mass at all. i dont know ,maybe dan brown's da vinci had an effect on me or masagwa lang talaga yung church service tonight. as ive mentioned, there's this sort of program, the song-act-dance type which i didnt enjoy but of course the whole crowd HAD to clap their hands to show APRECIATION daw. tapos the "concert parish priest" performed this song in spanish or latin i cant recall, and all i know is i was having this aphids-crawling-on-my-skin feeeling plus the fact na basag yung speakers and ang lakas lakas nung volume para marinig talaga lahat nang tao dahil nga marami. i hated it. then naisip ko pa na puro kaplastikan lang naaman lahat nag to, i mean look around, im not even sure if these people really wanted to attend the christmas mass (may sense ba?) or do they just want to make beso beso with their kumares and shake hands with their kumpares or compare the new clothes they've bougth. so, ok im bitter, you got me there and i wont deny. but im not just saying this for"just because" reasons. basta. and parang puro pag papasosyal lang tong misa na to, ang haba haba ba naman nang list nang families na nagpa offer nang mass. if i didnt know better gusto lang nila mabanggit names nila and be lined up with the buena familias, these social climbers.... im sooooo bad im gonna burn in hell.

i dont know, i hate social climbers but it occcured to me i may be one. kay nga ako nagLJ din eh, another step up to the ladder hahaha. what right do i have eh ang boring naman nang buhay ko tapos pa blog blog pa!!! but again i really stand firm on my disgust on these things and the wildest idea came to me kanina- either im a bonafide member of the alta sociedad in my past life who was an asshole that kept bitching around and so in this lifetime, i belong to the lower class na, or im just a social climber na makapal ang apog. what do you think?:p
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Sep. 12th, 2004 @ 12:22 pm (no subject)
i am soooo angry. so angry. sermoman ba naman ako dahil lang putang inang hanger. as in hanger nang damit. ipamukha ba naman sakin na madamot ako at hindi ko daw pag aari yon. putang ina. kesyo nakatambak lang naman daw sa kwarto ko eh bakit hindi ko pinapagamit sa iba. PUTA GIVE ME A BREAK. yan kasi ang problema sa mga taong pakialamero na pasok nang pasok sa kwarto nag kani kanino, kung ano ano ang nakikita kaya tuloy kung ano ano ang ipinuputak wala nanang alam. yes, i have hangers in my room -12 lang, eh ilan ba yung mga damit kong nilabhan na dapat ihanger din? 22! kung bastos lang talaga ako, ihahagis ko yon sa harapan nya at sabihing sana eh mabusog sya, hanger lang yan kaya kong bumili nan kahit ngayon pa. nasa kwarto ako, pero hindi ako nakapagpigil, lalabasuin ko na sana pero umalis na papuntang tindahan. nawalan ako nang ganang kumain kahit masarap ulam. parang gusto nang magpunta ng Rob para bumili nang tatlong dosenang hanger at ipaulan sa kanila yung nasa kwarto ko. nakakainis. as in NAKAKAINIS. putang ina. i hate this house and almost evereyone here. oo nga siguro ako ang may problema dahil ako lang ang nakakaramdam nito. pero diyos ko kung kayo ang nasa pusisyon ko sigurado di magkakaiba kalagayan natin. ang ingay dahil kung manenermon akala mo animna bundok ang pagitan nang kausap. mag uutos pasigay pa, kaya tuloy minsan sinasadya kong di marinig. my god, kung may kailangan ka dun sa tao lapitabn mo or atleast make sure na naririnig ka nya eh magsisigaw nba naman sa labas ng bahya o kusina eh nasa kwarto yung tinatawag. buti kung bahay kubo to na tagusan eh hindi eh. magagaliot kung bakit ang kalat kalat nang bahay at kung ano ano pa. ito lang ang masasabui ko, kasalanan nila lahat to. they were never good parents. they dont know how to GUIDE and and they are not GOOD EXAMPLES. kung burara nan o tamad o kung ano pa nman kaming magkakapatid, yon ay dahil sa lack of training and wrong upbringing. ayokong magbuhat nang bangko but i can say di ko sila katulad. ayoko lang gumawa nang kahit ano dahil, isa lang ako lima sila. ano ko magpapaka alila para sa mga barbaro??? neknek nila. kung ano ako ngayon is not because of them, well actually because of them pala, somehow something inside me made me want to fill their difficiencies. so salamat narin pala that im a better person, more aware, more liberated, more open minded. yea, that the keyword -open-minded. at the chance to work abroad with good pay, aalis talaga ako dito. hindi ko na kaya. no, i will not forget my obligations, tutulong ako sa mga expenses at iba pa pero ganggang dun na lang yon.

well atleast im fueled up, medyo gaganahan ako mag aral para sa zoo exam ko bukas.
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Sep. 3rd, 2004 @ 09:58 pm (no subject)
today, i've found two things i've lost: my UP id and some of my self-confidence

i lost my id sometime in april during the summer class. i have no idea where i lost it or last placed it. i didnt initially process my affidavit of loss as i was hoping that my id was somehow lost in my pile of things. after ive tranferred to my new room, that was the time i knew for sure my id was lost. i went to check if there's any posibility that i wasnt able to claim my id after returning any book in the library bt it wasnt there. months went by that i wasnt able to borrow any book and i wasnt also able to study or hang out in the lib (ok, you can start calling me a geek now) since i was too busy to process a new id. well, it'll only be a few months before the end of the semester and i realized i need a place to study so i decided to finally get a new id. i went to the notary public near Maya bookstore and that fucking piece of paper which just states that ive lost my id cost me a hundered pesos! anyway, of course i have to get a lib clearance for me to be able to apply for a new id. i had my form 5 countersinged at the three floors and since ive no place to go i decided to stay for a while, read newspapers, until aldo texts me that we're about to meet. after ive finished, i've returned the reading materials i borrowed and when i reached for my form 5, the lib personnel gave me a familiar looking backside of an id. god, of course its familiar, its my signature! i dont know what happened and how somehow my id ended up in their possession. i was just happy that i found it and that i didnt need to throw some more cash for my id fee. manghihinayang lang ako na nagpagawa na ako ng affidavit eh nandun lang naman pala id ko.

i can and will say that im really blessed to have friends such as the ones i have. they really know how to lift my spirit. of course it was all my best friends' idea ( what a guy!) since he was the one i ranted to. it was really thoughtful of him to point out things i have somehow overlooked.

ive finally watched the Swan ( well it was just this afternoon i found about it in the papers) in studio 23. well like in the children's story, it was about physical transformation of discontended/unhappy women. they feature two women per week (i think), and at the end of the show one of is choosen to move on to the beauty pageant wherein they will compete for the crown with other physically enhanced candidates. i first thought about how drastic this show is. naisip ko "ano na namang katangahang reality show to?" it just occured to me that these women will undergo cosmetic surgery just to feel/look good. and who will dicide what look is good for them? the doctors and beauty experts who have their stereotyped image of what is beautiful? how superficial! or is it really?

the two contestants for this episode underwent liposuction, breast implants, dental enhancement, noselift and laser facial as the first step of the Swan program. they also went into counselling, diet consultation, and in to the gym. days after their surgery, i guess it started to sink into them how drastic the step they took and how they bit off more they can chew. they were crying and wishing they didnt undergo the surgery. but then they were able to cope with it days later. after three months of not seeing theirselves in the miror, they were finally presented to the team which "made" them and were dramatically allowed to see their transformation in this huge mirror. my initial thoughts of negativity towards the show was suddenly erased as i saw the tears coming down their eyes as they see themselves the way they have always pictured -a picture of beauty and perfection. well they did undergo drastic measures, but who could blame them? the results were really noticeable as in REALLY noticeable. one of then exclaimed as she was crying immensely in front of the mirror " my god, my god i am so beautiful!" she added that she has lived for 27 years for this dream and now she's got it. i dont know but i guess the show is not that bad, since the women (contestants) themselves know that that is what they want, they were the ones who decided what to do with their bodies. the specialist were just there to guide them and the doctors are just there to grant their wishes. yes, the show may be superficial, but nothing is wrong with being superficial. they may have this stereotype of how beauty should look like, and the beauty they promote is "Clinically prepared" but in the end its always the happiness of the patient that matters. and by the looks in their faces i can say that they are genuinely happy.
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Sep. 1st, 2004 @ 10:20 pm quack quack quack
vanity.i dont know how i ended being vain when there's nothing to be vain about. i've never felt as as ugly as ive felt the past few days. nobody has to tell me, i can tell for myself. i used to think i was fine, that i looked okay, passable -but how wrong i was. in admit that before, when i rant about this, i didnt really mean mean it, it was just more of my pathetic nature momentarily surfacing. well not anymore. i was an ugly kid, but of course i didnt really care back then. hey who ever did? later in elementary years did it matter when my consciousness started to kick in. i told myself, "oh well, my development will probably start during my high school years." Come high school and well, still the same old me. i remembered the fairy tale The Ugly Duckling and i thought that i might still turn out as he did, even if just a goose and not a swan. and in the back of my head, i was thinking that maybe college would be kind enough to me. there are those called "late bloomers", developing in their late teens when everybody else already have, and i figured i may be one. well im college now and not in my teens anymore. i realized that if i was to go under metamorphosis, it should have happened a few years back. so i guess there's nothing really much to look forward too. by this time i should have gotten used to the way i look for i am stuck with it forever (well unless of course i become filthy rich and subject myself under the doctors knife.) in the meantime, i should stop being hard on myself, its bad enough worrying about my looks without fine lines acros my forehead.
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Aug. 9th, 2004 @ 06:06 pm charitable institution
i don't undestand why some streets are really just one way. i don't want to understand either.

I AM SO STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. i don't know why i always loose
my self control but i'll do my best to make this the last last time i
do. i always end up feeling (well not just feeling but being) taken
advantage of and i HATE it. i dont know how things get manipulated but
i have always played the active role and in the end i become the prey.
well not for long...i hope.
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Aug. 1st, 2004 @ 09:20 pm pinoy media culture
my parents left for baguio friday morning for a CFC activity and will return about 10 or 11 tonight. at dahil don, ako ang in charge sa tindahan namin this weekend. it was ok, although konti lang time kong matulog kasi maya-maya may customer na mang iistorbo! my only consolation was that i was able to consume some of our merchandise (junkfood, softdrinks etc.) sama ano!

anyway, since ako (together with my two other brothers) nga nag bantay, that also means na buong araw akong nanonood ng tv so i wont be bored pag walang nabili. and dito ko na napansin (nanaman) yung mga lame commercials natin na that just had to rely sa sexual innuendo para mapansin. seen the new axe commercial with the teaser "show her you've got something big"? no need to explain, unless of course green-minded lang talaga ako. dati merong ponds commercial with these two gays guys, then the bailey's commercial suggesting that this guy was possibly the one who gave this other guy a kiss leaving the bailey after taste, tapos yung "pare" commercial ng sunsilk. now here comes this pancit canton commercial na "mapapakindat ka sa sarap/asim" na may portion where two male basketball players were shown winking at each other. wala lang, they just had to include that together with the initial scene where it depicts na parang impossibleng magyaring magkagustuhan ang isang black at isang white (american). im just feed up. there's a lot of advertisement techniques naman but why do they have to stick dun sa pinaka unimaginative? like come on, we always declare that we filipinos are creative, artistic, ingenius, etc etc. but how come hindi ito narereflect sa mga shows, ads, at movies natin. hindi ko alam kung bakit may mga ganitong nag-eexist dahil they insult the intellect of the viewers. dont they use the reasoning na hindi maaappreciate ng masa pag pinalitan nila yung formula. how would they know eh wala pang nagta-try? i dont want to sound arrogant pero kaya siguro mababaw yung takbo nang isip nung marami sa atin ay dahil rin sa mababaw na pag iisip nang media. media has a big big big influence on our daily lives, so sana they be responsible to produce developmental, aside from entertaining, projects. i also want to comment sana sa mga artista nating hindi naman marunong kumanta pero pinipilit kahit ang sagwa sagwa naman nung dubbing (e.g. judy ann's "i like to PARTY, everybody does...." in a SLOW tempo) but that would take so much space. hahaha!
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